Absolutely Furious!

Reason that my title says I'm furious is because there should be a blog in place of this one, but when I came back to fix it up this afternoon it was missing. So naturally I'm fighting anger demons as I write.


Well lets do a basic summary of my life commentary and I'll throw down a political/ religious joke for you. (as that seems to be the running theme of the blog)


Why do these crazy things happen to me each day? I blame the system! Moreover I blame what public transport has become. It is now a forum for crazy people to unload their unwanted emotions onto the people around them. This has probably been seen by most of us, say when a couple start screaming at one another incomprehensibly over issues that no one in the 10km radius really wants to know or hear about.

The next two examples differ slightly, but are true events that occurred to me within the confines of the public transport system.
After work I was sitting at the platform, the train pulled in, and in front of me I noticed a completely bare carriage. SCORE! I stupidly thought to myself as i settled into a seat and spread my belongings around me. It seemed I was going to ride in this one solo until I got home. At least that was the case until one other girl sat herself down with a thud at the other end of the carriage. I could tell she was upset as she went on to slump her shoulders and throw her head between her knees seemingly in despair... just as her phone rang.

Being a shy soul, I slid lower into my seat to avoid eye contact, and not wanting to make her feel embarrassed that I had witnessed her in such a state. Hiding was also one of the worst ideas of my life, but I only realised this as the phone conversation progressed. The whole scene made sense when I realised the boyfriend was on the phone, and he was breaking up with her. The wailing began.

She started bawling and screaming, it was a scary hybrid of anger and sorrow (angorrow). She shopping listed all of the things that he had done wrong by her, followed by all the good times they'd had together, all intermingled and held together with a consistent snotty sniffle and snort combo.

It was to late for me to show my face or offer any consolation I had started hiding, and frankly enough I was now committed to the cause of stealth and invisibility. This went on for another 10mins until finally I got to my stop. At which I leaped forth from my seat and bailed towards the door. At seeing me she straightened up thinking that she had preserved herself from revealing what just went down. To put the icing on the cake for this experience. As I walked parallel to the train with her on it, our eyes met as the train started moving. This eye lock seemed like eternity... it was love. Jokes! It looked like she wanted my heart on a spear.

Second experience was of an entirely different nature. I was actually on the platform just before my train arrived when I witnessed another epic event. A guy and a girl were sitting with one another, and I hope for the girls sake that they were not a couple. (You will understand soon)

Coincidence maybe, but I think not, literally moments after I arrived on the scene the boy came out of the closet and admitted he was gay to the girl. She was quite taken aback it seemed, as she drew a deep breath. I merely cocked my head to the side and stared to see what happened next. My curiosity rewarded me well as the girl let out a squeal. At first I thought she was upset over a potential break up, but it turns out she was exclaiming in delight. (with retarded vocal chords) At the fact that she had finally attained a gay friend. A bond that she had so ardently desired for years.

After this there was much hugging and giggling so I soon walked away and downed my coffee and hopped on the train. The rest is history (stupid saying actually)


POLITICAL JOKE WITH RELIGIOUS EDGE TIME!!!

Last Saturday afternoon an aide to Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in Canberra .

He told the Cardinal that Kevin would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point him out  to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Kevin a saint.


The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of his views."


Rudd's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a cheque here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Kevin as a saint."


The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."

As the aide promised, Foreign Minister Rudd appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the centre aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Mr Rudd was present.





The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with Prime Minister Gillard, Foreign Minister Rudd is a saint."


Peace
Sam xx

P.S: Thanks James Harrison for the joke

Terrific Terrorism for Kids.

Just so you know I squeezed this blog out with the last of my energy after a hard day and a excruciating drive. It is only for you my dear readers that I would exert myself for your sake.

So in today's news we got a few exciting stories about Australia's leadership. Apparently there have been calls from within labour who want Rudd back. Proclaiming that he has eaten humble pie and come out as no longer autocratic but a changed man, and furthermore would accept the position of PM if offered.
-"Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth."
(Matthew 5:5)

Wipe that smug look off your face!
You've enjoyed every minute of her failure haven't you?

You will also stumble across terrible news such as:

1. The Austin Powers actor Joseph Hyungmin Son sentenced to life imprisonment for the rape and torture of a woman, along with other sex crimes.
2. A woman charged for gluing her daughter to a wall and beating her over a potty training incident.

It seems natural, I think, to feel entitled to know about these incidents. Although these stories come in such quantity at a constant rate that it can do none other than diminish our trust in the world we live in. Which in my opinion is why we see so much sociological change. Since the popular media has become a dominating power in society, negativity has taken hold alongside it. Therefore naturally people are decreasing in generosity and/or kindness to their fellow man. Always wary and judgemental of neighbours and new people. Assuming the worst in others and developing only a trust in oneself, which in turn creates selfishness due to increased self awareness and concern.
Most refuse to acknowledge this, as the media encourages greed with promoting ideas such as:
What's wrong with a bit of self indulgence? Your worth it aren't you?
God forbid if you feel "NOT worth it" because then inadequacy/inferiority complexes kick in and lead to all types of emotional problems. No wonder psychology is a booming industry, there's a huge demand for counsellors when half the world is suffering anxiety and depression issues.
It is these negative attitudes that eat away at society, yet still we see popular media so often highlighting the bad things, namely the wrong doings of others through these horrible news stories about crime, fraud and abuse.
GAHH!

Abrupt rant end!

Well anyway. Some good news... finally!

An ex-terrorist bomber has recently become a comic book hero sensation. When a comic was released based on his life story. He is a reformed al-Quida linked militant who not only turned himself in. But revealed to police the inside workings of terrorist organisations.

I guess that is one...different way to inspire the youngsters.
- Exploding into a comic store near you! ;)
- I'm really happy for the guy. I just hope his new career doesn't go up in smoke.

That is enough from me!

Over and Out!
Sam xx

Who wants to be a Quadrillionaire!

Today is a sick day. I have a stomach bug and not feeling good at all. But that doesn't mean the world stops dishing out Good News. So lets see what I have to work with.

You will have to wait for the explanation of what the hell that (-->) thing is. In the meantime I will continue to let it look like a glittery and inflamed rectum.



On to the other side of the scales, where I do the classic list of examples of what you would be bombarded with if I didn't step in to stop the unending war on the negative.

1. Media releases an image of Carl Williams moments before he was beaten to death on CCTV
2. Pesky plankers made to pay $1500 each after posting pics of their posting online
3. Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car during her morning jog and rushed to hospital... LOL

Speaking of getting hit by cars! I was innocently walking home from work yesterday when I saw the world dish out some refreshingly violent irony. None other than a driving instructor came speeding around a corner without caution and smashed a motorcyclist. He wasn't critically injured, just got a slightly mangled knee. I would have taken a picture but I probably would have been punched out by the angry bystander complaining about how the world  is going to ruins because of these auto mobiles.

That's enough of all that. We need something good, something positive, something that will put a smile on our dial. I have the perfect solution: A ROBBERY!
Oh no, this is not an ordinary everyday robbery. This is a robbery for the win. This robbery takes place both within a grocery store and also within the safe confines of our happy childhood memories.
"What the hell are you talking about Sam?"
Glad you asked actually! Im talking about our friend Gumby! Notorious for his goodwill and problem solving ability, has obviously went rogue after he dropped out of popularity. I guess the only sure way to get back in the spotlight was to rob a 7/11.

Funny as hell!

In other news. I have a gay cute and cuddly one for you. A house burst into flames and there was sceaming and yelling. The firemen noticed a poodle in the property and went in to save it. The moment the dog saw the firemen it raced down the stairs where they chased him, until the poodle led them to its 19 year old owner fast asleep in the basement. Nawww
Id like to know who sleeps in their basement anyway? 

And finally:  "Bible quote, story correspondence time!":
Matthew 13:44
"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

This story isn't quite about finding a couple of coins in a field, or a pearl. This is about scientists who believe they found an entire planet made of DIAMOND!!!!!!!! refer to the glittery inflamed rectum above.
So I was just thinking to myself, my dad's a painter. I could lash together some ladders climb up like Gumbo did in the first episode of Gumby. And bring back some seriously impressive bling!

Thats all folks! Except for these notes...

NOTES: 

Due to popular demand of one person Joshua Gonsalves and his team. I may reconsider doing more vlogs on my youtube channel. I wont put any links down untill I successfully complete one though.

I wont torture you often with blogs of this length, I only got this far thanks to a sick stomach and a subsequent day off.

Sam xx